It’s been about a month and half since I actually vocalized the words, “It’s not true.” I was talking about the Mormon church and I could hardly believe I was saying them, let alone agreed with them. Little did I know what lay ahead of me in the next six weeks. I’ve struggled with the idea of going back and writing about those weeks, but have decided I wouldn’t be able to. The range of emotions is impossible to capture after the fact. It is all too bewildering, frightening, enlightening, empowering, destroying, and tumultuous to relive… at least right now. I’m ready to move on, and I think this blog will be a piece of that process.
It serves a two-fold purpose to me. First off, it gives me a place to speak. I’ve gone from a world of nearly constant people to talk to (family, friends, home teachers, bishops, other church leaders, my Gospel Doctrine class, my Elder’s Quorom, etc) to a world where none of those people really want to hear what I’m feeling like saying.
It’s second purpose is to hopefully reassure those friends and family that are still interested in what I feel and what I think that I haven’t lost my mind and I’m not following a quick path down to destruction. Many of them (of you?) have asked me to keep you up to date with where I am in my life, and this is my attempt to do so.
No doubt some will accuse me of using this blog to try to tear down the LDS church. If you feel that’s my intention, tell me so and never come back. If you are sure enough in your own faith to see this for what it is… one mortal man talking about his own, personal experiences… you’re welcome to have a peek inside my life.
