The revelations keep coming. Of course, these are probably common knowledge to most people with a functioning brain and even the most basic understanding of God, but I don’t count myself among that group of people.
Today’s revelation? That God exists, not only for the big things in life, but for the tiny little monotonous ones, too. I’ve really been struggling with daily motivation lately. Struggling with just getting basic things done. I found myself extremely frustrated with my lack of desire, motivation, and get-up-and-go. In my prayer this morning, I asked God to help me be better at it. And then it struck me… that whole part about humility. Can I truly be better? I don’t believe I can. There is nothing worthwhile or inherently good about me, apart from what God has given me. Any improvement I think I make to myself is actually from God. The only way I can become a better person is to submit more and more to Him. The more I throw off my own self, the more He will fill me with Goodness and Light.
So I asked Him to take over for me today. My own will was taking the day off. I asked Him to fill me with motivation and productivity, and that I was going to surrender to Him. I asked Him to tell me what my hands should be doing, what my brain should be thinking about, where my body should be, and in what order I should be accomplishing things. And a great thing happened. I was very productive. It was still my body doing the work, still my fingers dialing the phone, and still my fingers on my computer keyboard. It was still my physical body expending the energy. But He guided me. He filled me with purpose. And why? Because I asked Him to, and I was willing to get out of His way.
This wasn’t some spirit-filled, emotional, and remarkable experience, either. It was Him showing me that He is willing to help me… no, not even help me…. He is willing to do for me anything I ask Him that is good. Even if it’s something as pointless as make a phone call I’ve been putting off. The catch is that I have to get my own pride-filled, lazy, imperfect self out of His way.
Just think… if I could find a way to completely lose myself in what He wants for me, I can’t imagine what He could do with my life. That goodness, that perfect life, is right there, waiting to take over, if I can only learn to submit to it. Why is it so hard? It’s pretty easy to look at my life and see that I’m not extremely good at running it. Why is it so hard to turn it over to Someone who can run it perfectly?
So my revelation today is this… when I need help, I will ask for it. And to realize that in all things, at all times, I need help. I think I’m finally beginning to understand what it means to pray all the day long.
