I’m a worrier. I get it from my mother who is possibly the best worrier I’ve ever come across. In fact, I often worry about how much I worry. Crazy.
I asked my Pastor last night about it.
"Is worrying a sign of a lack of faith?"
His immediate (and expected) answer was, "Yes." He went on to offer a great explanation of why, but I knew it already in my mind.
I am constantly frustrated by my own lack of faith. I would like nothing more than to be some spiritual giant (although that whole concept sounds like pride to me) who was constantly at rest in the peace that our Savior promises us. The stupid thing is that I know His promises are sure… that He will provide… that He will make a way… that His intentions for my are always Good. And yet I worry.
I did what my Pastor recommended. I prayed to my Father and confessed to Him that I’ve been worrying… that I haven’t had the faith I should have in Him. And asked Him to help me strengthen in faith… and therefore lessen my worrying. Today’s been better, but not without it’s moments.
So there is the Catch 22 of faith. If you lack faith, He will not give. If He does not give, how does one build faith? I know that this is overly simplistic, because the truth is that He gives all the time, every day, in every way. The breath I just took was given from Him. But somehow it’s different.
Every aspect of my life has changed with this new religious direction… not the least of which is my business. Apart from the fact that a lot of my referral base was from my fellow LDS’ers, just the time, emotion, and energy it’s all taken has had an impact, too. I need faith like never before right now. Somewhere inside me is the faith required to rest in the knowledge that He will provide for me. Until I find it, I’ll be talking with Him in prayer to continually ask His forgiveness and help to stay away from worry.
