Church for post-Mormons?

Looking for a place where you can explore a new and rational faith after leaving the LDS church?   Live in the Boise, Idaho area?  Be sure to check out a new non-denominational church plant at…

http://www.BoiseChristianFellowship.org

Our own miracle…

I HAD to share some incredible news.  I’ve mentioned in previous posts that my oldest daughter was diagnosed with a learning disability early in her life, and how I had been struggling with praying in faith for her healing.  It’s something I’ve been praying for for a long time, but was never sure that I had enough faith for my prayers to really be effective.  I actually beat myself up about it quite a bit.  I always kind of felt that I was letting her down by not having enough faith.

And Learn Of Me…

As I was praying today, this scripture came to my mind:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

For some reason, I noticed four words in there that I had never really noticed before,

How George Muller Changed My Life

Okay, I should clarify that title. The way God worked through George Muller changed my life.

We’ve been talking about this man a little bit in some of our School of Ministry classes, kind of foreshadowing a book we’ll be reading next term. The story sounded so interesting, though, that I couldn’t wait to read it. I don’t think I actually even found the exact book we’ll be reading later in class, but I found a biography at our local library. It was one of those books I just devoured… couldn’t put it down. And I hesitated to post about it for a while because, when I totally get into books like that, I can lose my perspective and make them out to be something they are not. But not in this case.

A brass serpent on a pole

This is the message I shared with our new "Life After Joseph" group that is now meeting at the local non-denominational church I now attend.  I found myself wishing I’d presented it more clearly than I had, and figured I’d take another crack at it here, where I could edit, delete, and make additions as needed.

I’m studying through the Old Testament right now. It’s a book I’ve rarely read much from, and certainly never from cover to cover.  I am amazed how much I am learning from it’s study.  It has been absolutely profound to begin to understand just a fraction of what is contained in it’s pages.  It has given me a perspective on things like temples, the priesthood, the sabbath, tithing, and obedience that I never expected to have.

I was reading through Numbers the other night and was struck by this account of Moses and the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness.  Keep in mind that, leading up to this account and immediately following it, their life was all about laws… rules… regulations… sacrifices.  This was a time of following the rules EXACTLY.  And suddenly you come across this odd happening…   

Numbers 21:5 And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye
brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for [there is] no
bread, neither [is there any] water; and our soul loatheth this light
bread.
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Numbers 21:7 Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we
have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD,
that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people.
Numbers 21:8 And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it
upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten,
when he looketh upon it, shall live.
Numbers 21:9 And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came
to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the
serpent of brass, he lived.

The Israelites must have thought that Moses had lost his mind.  Some of the symbolism is obvious in this passage, but some of it was almost certainly lost on the wandering tribes.  To them, it must have sounded like Moses told them to make a graven image of Satan (the serpent) and simply look upon it to be saved from their poisonous bites.  It is implied that not all of the Israelites looked upon the serpent and that the many who did not, died.  Reading this passage now, with the understanding and light of Christ already having had His time on earth, this becomes amazingly profound and talks directly to those in Mormonism, I believe.  Let’s go over the passage again, this time inserting the obvious symbolism that was intended.  Anything I add will be in blue, lest anyone think I’m trying to change the words.

Numbers 21:5 And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye
brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for [there is] no
bread, neither [is there any] water; and our soul loatheth this light
bread.
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents (an obvious symbolism of the invasion of sin or influence of Satan) among the people, and they bit the people (the people fell into sin); and much people of Israel died ("the wages of sin is death").
Numbers 21:7 Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned (the first step toward being saved… realizing you are a sinner), for we
have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD,
that he take away the serpents (take away our sins) from us. And Moses prayed for the people.
Numbers 21:8 And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent (a symbol of sin), and set it
upon a pole (symbolic of the tree or the cross): and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten (everyone who has sinned),
when he looketh upon it (the symbol of sin on a cross), shall live.
Numbers 21:9 And Moses made a serpent of brass (brass is always a symbol of judgment in the Bible), and put it upon a pole (a cross), and it came
to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man (whoever had sinned), when he beheld the
serpent of brass (looked upon the judgment of sin, Jesus Christ), he lived.

Jesus Christ literally became our sin upon the cross.  The symbolism is profound and specific.  Here, in five simple verses, is contained all we need to know in order to be saved.  And yet the symbolism continues beyond what is simply written in the words.  We must ask ourselves why all the people didn’t look.  Put yourself in their shoes for a minute.  They were living in very legalistic times of sacrifices, required festivals, sabbath-keeping, tithe paying, etc.  It was all about rules and regulations.  It was all very complicated and precise.  Have you ever read through Leviticus and tried to keep all of the offerings straight in your head?  Sin, even unintentional sin, had a very precise sacrificial resolution with "waiting periods" involved.  It was unheard of to just "be forgiven" because you believed.  The people obviously recognized that the serpents were a direct punishment for their sins.  I have to believe it all seemed too simple to them.  It didn’t make any sense coming from the way they’d been raised and taught.  It must have seemed like a very stupid idea indeed to simply look at a snake on a pole and really believe they’d be healed.  So many of them didn’t.  They rejected it due to it’s simplicity… and died.

As post-Mormons, we are in the same situation.  We have been raised with rules, regulations, commandments, and a very clear path of works in order to be "saved".  The belief that all we have to do is believe in Jesus Christ to be saved seems ludicrous, simple, and ridiculous.  It’s GOT to be more complicated than that, right?  What about baptism, temple work, endowments, priesthood, temple attendance, home teaching, visiting teaching, magnifying your calling, tithe paying, sabbath keeping, and on and on?

Mormons are in the same situation as these Israelites.  All through the New Testament is our call to simply believe in Jesus Christ and accept his sacrifice as the judgment of our sin in order to be saved.  And yet it is too simple to believe.  Being "saved" in Christ seems too basic… too easy… even approaching the ridiculous.  Many Israelites died physically of poison because they didn’t think it could be that simple.  Many Mormons will die spiritually from sin because they didn’t think it could be that simple.

I have found profound and deeply theological reasons to justify that simple faith in Christ is all that is required for salvation.  I think the idea was best expressed to me by my Pastor (and I must paraphrase, because I didn’t write it down like I should have)… Salvation is so simple that a child can understand it, yet deep enough that religious scholars could mine it’s depths for a lifetime and never fully understand it.

Look to the brass serpent on a pole and be healed….
Believe that Christ interceded for the judgment of your sins on the cross and be saved.

That’s it.  It’s that simple and that beautiful.      

I must be really dense

Apparently I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. My Father must know this about me and, when there’s something really important He needs to tell me, He makes it pretty obvious.

Take, for example. four years ago. I had already made the decision to go into real estate sales, but was really struggling with which office I should go to work for. It was a very tough decision, with my family’s financial survival at stake. It was down to a decision between Coldwell Banker and RE/MAX. RE/MAX was a huge risk… they actually charge agents to work there, basically renting their desk space. It was a much busier office, though, so I thought I might have a better chance to make it there. I was really torn, and we’d done a lot of praying about it.

There used to be a huge music and hot air balloon festival in our area that we’d go to every year. We’d never actually made it early enough in the morning to see the hot air balloon launch, though. We decided we’d make it that year. We got up very early in the morning and set off on the hour drive to get there. We talked nearly the whole way about this impending decision I had to make. We pulled into the park, sat on a picnic bench, and started watching them roll out all the balloons, preparing them for inflation. As I sat there, I was praying for an answer to my dilemma. As I was praying, the balloon directly in front of us started inflating. It was about half inflated before I saw the huge RE/MAX logo on it. As I was sitting there, praying for an answer, the RE/MAX logo literally filled the sky above me. It was as if God has said, "Duh. NOW do you hear my answer?" I joined RE/MAX and began an incredibly successful three years with them. I hadn’t actually prayed for a sign, but God gave me a literal sign in the form of a huge logo in the air above me. I guess it’s proof that I’ve got a pretty thick skull.

Fast forward to the last three months, when I was again struggling with direction in my business life. For reasons I’ve discussed here in prior posts, the Lord just completely shut off my business when I left the Mormon church. I was averaging 4 to 5 sales a month and then BOOM. Nothing. Nada. Zippo. For two and a half months straight I had nothing. And even the ones I was working on and already had under contract at the time I left fell apart. It was incredible. I had not had a month in three years without a closing, and it was looking like I was on my way to my third month straight without one. I could tell God was trying to tell me something again. But I didn’t know what. I had been working on a new business idea, and thought maybe He was telling me it was time to pursue that. I had the feeling that I should test that idea, and started working feverishly towards getting it launched. And still nothing changed. It became apparent that this new business would likely take years to get to a point that it was actually an income we could live on… if it ever did.

I had really been feeling like the Lord had given me my experience in leaving the Mormon church for a reason… that I should be sharing it and using it to help others. I couldn’t shake the feeling, but I also couldn’t figure out how I could spend my time working on that while ignoring trying to provide for my family. After a long conversation with my wife, many prayers, and lots of introspection, I decided I’d just start following this idea the lord had given me.

I simply started writing my story down… started putting it into words. I started working on a website that would help me tell my story to as many people as I could. I started devoting many hours a day to studying the scriptures, prayer, and thinking about ways the Lord could use me to minister to Mormons. And he gave me an answer every bit as obvious as that hot air balloon in the park.

He turned my real estate business back on. I share numbers here only to share the power of God to work in our lives and support us when we are doing what we are called to do. One week ago, I had nothing. Literally NO real estate transactions under contract. And nothing on the horizon that looked promising at all. I thought I was cooked. And yet I was devoting so much time to something that will likely never bring a dime into my household bank account. It felt nuts at the time. But now, today, I sit in my office with over $900,000 of accepted contracts moving towards closing. I have literally gone from the worst three month stretch of business in my career to looking forward to one of my absolute best months ever. As I look at the business I’ve been given, it is so apparent that the Lord gave it to me. These are transactions that almost literally fell right in my lap. I was making no effort to find them or seek them out. They came from referrals from past clients and from my website. There I was, doing everything wrong for a guy who was desperately needing business, and yet business came because I was doing what the Lord wanted me to be doing.

Jesus is real. The Bible is truly His word. He really does stand ready to take over our lives if we’ll just have the faith to give it to Him. As soon as we realize that we can do nothing without Him, He can begin to do everything in us.

My mantra

I’m doing it again. About four years ago I dropped nearly 70 pounds by working out and eating better. Unfortunately, it was the typical story. Gained it all back plus a few. But I’m doing it again. And not the gaining it back part. I’m back at the gym again.

I wonder if this isn’t also part of the reason my business has slowed down. I have time and energy again to focus on getting myself healthy. It does seem more important in the whole scheme of things that I stay healthy and fit. Maybe I needed this break from the break-neck pace I was at to realize that again.

This time at the gym is different, though. I posted a while back about my inability to turn my weight issues over to the Lord and admit I could nothing about them on my own. Well, I did just that after all. I told Him I didn’t have the strength, the commitment, the lasting desire to do it on my own, and that I needed those things from Him. I told Him I was ashamed of the temple I had for Him, and needed His help to restore it to a place that honored and glorified Him.

The way He is helping me is almost imperceptable, but it is there. It is in those moments of indecision, when it would be really easy to stay home on my couch instead of go to the gym… in those moments when a brownie or a cookie doesn’t look like that big of a deal. That is where He steps in and makes up for my lack of willpower and commitment. I find myself walking away from bad food and in the car headed to the gym before I know it.

I was running on the treadmill the other day (yes, a guy in my shape can run… a little.. for very short distances… at a slow pace… with a lot of wheezing) and really hurting. My knee felt like it was going to give out, my legs had filled with lactic acid, and all I could see in the mirror in front of me was a very fat man looking very pathetic and sweating profusely. It’s a good thing I was pretty much alone in the gym, because I started talking out loud to God as I ran. I asked Him for strength. I asked Him for management of pain. I asked Him for desire to keep taking another leap forward and for the strength to have my other leg be there to catch me when I did. Before long, my prayer had turned into a sort of chant or mantra…

"Less of me (breath) more of Him (breath)"
"Less of me (breath) more of Him (breath)"
"Less of me (breath) more of Him (breath)"
"Less of me (breath) more of Him (breath)"

It took on a rhythm and began to pace me. It carried me through that workout and, since then, has carried me through other difficult situations as well. The more that phrase is in my mind, the more perspective I seem to have during my days.

If I can truly live that mantra a little more everyday, I know I’ll be consistently growing closer to Him and allowing Him to become more and more a part of who I am.

The more I can throw off my own self and allow Him to guide my life and be my strength, the more He will step in to make my life what it’s supposed to be. And that includes a healthy body.

The farther down you go…

…the higher you have to rise.

I used to teach this concept in my Gospel Doctrine class and Elder’s Quorom classes when I was in the Mormon church. Thinking back on it now, I think it holds true.

Imagine if you will, a brand new baby. Pretend for a minute that it has never experienced pain of any kind (I know, childbirth is hardly painless, but like I said, we’re pretending). Now, continue to pretend that somehow that child lived it’s first five years without ever so much as stubbing a toe or pinching a finger. This little baby never experienced an ounce of pain… has no concept of what pain even feels like.

And then one day…. BOOM! He stubs his little toe hard on the kitchen cabinet. He curls up on the floor in pain and cries and cries. It’s his first exposure to pain, and it hurts like the dickens.

Before long, though, the pain subsides and he’s back to his regular pain-free life. Until this point, he’s had no appreciation for what pain even is. And because of that, no feeling of the joy of living without pain… of being healthy and strong. Up until that toe-stubbing, he was just existing.

But, he can only experience the level of joy of that comes with not having his toe hurt. He can only comprehend and appreciate pain to that level. He has no concept of how much more one can hurt in this life, and therefore has no feeling of joy… except that of his toe not hurting. Of course, the boy grows into a man and experiences pain of all types and intensities… bruises, broken bones, lost loves, career disappointments, death of loved ones, maybe even cancer or heart disease. By the end of his life, he has truly come to understand and appreciate what a blessing and a joy the lack of pain is… because he’s experienced so much of it.

The same is true of all sorts of pain in our lives. Who has a greater appreciation for life… the always-healthy athlete or the cancer survivor? Who has a greater appreciation for a home… the heir to an estate or the previously homeless man? Who has a deeper understanding of God… the unchallenged and untempted or the person who’s faith has been tried in devastating or troublesome circumstances?

We can only have joy to the extent that we’ve experienced pain. We can’t comprehend joy without the existence of pain.

I find this helps me in periods in my life of extreme challenge or pain. It is God’s way of preparing us to enjoy an equal and opposite amount of joy and happiness, either in this life or in the one to come.

I truly felt like I could celebrate my current challenges today, because I know that He stands ready to give me the equal and opposite joy and happiness that follows it… in his timeframe.

And He must be preparing me for something really good, because life is pretty rough right now.

I don’t think it was ever God’s plan to have me spend 35 years in the Mormon church, but I know he has used that for His good in me. It has given me a deep and profound appreciation for His grace, His sacrifice, the simplicity of His plan, and love for His word that I’m not sure I would have developed had I been taught it all my life.

My Supports

Had another great Wednesday night service last night. Among the things talked about was how, so often after being saved, the Lord will permit some or all of a person’s pre-existing supports to fall away from them. This to see if a person has truly come to rely on the Lord. While I agree, and am definitely feeling some of those supports being kicked out from under me, I think there’s a little more to it. I think that, when He removes a support, He stands ready with a new one to insert in it’s place. Now, that doesn’t mean He’ll automatically do it… just that He’s got one ready.

For example, my family was a huge support to me in my life. Obviously, they aren’t supportive at all anymore in my religious life, and I honestly think they kind of hope for some tragedy or hard times in my life to "bring me back to the faith" or whatever. This support has truly been kicked out from under me… although maybe I’ve kicked it out myself… the end result is the same. But He was ready with a new support in the form of a new church family. Just as I was falling to the ground, without the support I was used to, He propped in a new support and caught me. I literally spend four days a week now with my church family… in church, in bible study, in a home bible study group, in a men’s discipleship group, and the occasional event. I have some inkling of how Paul must have felt as he wrote to the Philippians… his very first thought being of thanks for brothers and sisters in Christ.

I feel like I’m also having the financial support kicked out from under me… at least partially. A major portion of my business came from contact and friends within the LDS church. I find that those are disappearing very quickly. I wonder what form of support the Lord has in store for me in that area of my life. I’m trying to be as open as I can to recognizing it when I see it.
Maybe it’s the same support (or same career) but just at a very different financial level than I’m used to. Maybe it’s a entirely new direction. Maybe it’s a combination.

I picture myself like some old three-legged stool that someone made in shop class. Nothing looks really good, or fits together very well, but it at least stands up. The Lord doesn’t want me to be that clunky old stool. He’ll remove one leg at a time, replacing it with a better grade of wood, and sculpted with a master’s hand. It seems scary for the stool at first to have a leg removed. And even scary when the master begins to attach a new leg that doesn’t look anything like the rest of the stool… doesn’t really even fit very well. But, if the stool would just trust the master and not fight him, eventually He will have replaced every part until that ugly old stool reflects his glory as a fine and useful piece of furniture.

I feel I’m at the very beginning of that process. I’m an ugly old stool who’s freaking out because the master is removing the legs I’ve known and relied on all my life. I have no idea what the new legs will look like, how they’ll fit, what others will think of them, or how the finished project will look. But I have to have faith in the Master that He knows my potential.

Grasping at explanations

This is the story of my oldest daughter. We apparently had an inept doctor when she was born. Somehow, this doctor missed the fact that my wife was running an extremely high fever during childbirth… in fact, as she complained how cold she was, the doctor kept piling warmed blankets on top of her chilled body. Eventually, a more experience doctor came in and immediately recognized what was going on. Tearing off all the blankets, they took her temperature. It’s been too many years ago now for me to remember how high it was, but is was alarmingly high. They immediately sped things up (although she was still technically in labor for over 24 hours) to get the baby out of an oven of a mommy. My daughter was born with an extremely high fever, but recovered fairly quickly from it and we thought everything was going to be okay.

Fast forward many years down the road. She’s been diagnosed with Central Auditory Processing Disorder, which is a complicated diagnosis that we’re still trying to understand. Basically, she doesn’t store information the same way we all do, and it keeps her socially and mentally well behind her peers. We’re honestly not sure if she’ll ever be able to live on her own or not. She does pretty well most of the time, but has some dangerous lapses of common sense from time to time. Turns out the most common cause of this disorder is a high fever at birth.

Anyway, it’s always been a struggle for me to understand why this child was burdened with such a dramatic disability. Our other two kids are extremely intelligent, and I can’t help but wonder what she was meant to be had this stupid accident not occured. I know… there are children who lose their lives every day in stupid accidents, too… so I try to consider us lucky. But that’s harder to do some days than others.

Then I had this experience. Driving home the other day, not even thinking about her, I had this very clear thought pop into my head…

What if she had had normal mental capabilities when we found out the Mormon church wasn’t true? Would she have been so committed by then that we wouldn’t have been able to get her out? There are many kids her age who have already formed their independant natures enough to not have been open to the new knowledge we were gaining. Could it be that her disability was part of a plan to keep her "young enough" mentally that we could still get her out of that church? I have no idea. It’s certainly never entered my mind before. And I wasn’t even thinking remotely about her when the thought hit me.

Maybe I’m grasping at explanations in a circumstance where there are none. But part of me hopes that maybe that is the reason, and that now she might begin to recover from it since it’s served it’s purpose.

I used to beleive that I carried the very same Priesthood that Christ used to perform His healings and that, if I was faithful enough and if it was God’s will, I could heal people. That sounds so incredibly sacriligous to me now. I’m ashamed I ever believed it. But I continue to believe that Christ has a healing power. But I’m realizing I no longer have any concept of how it works. Who has the power to ask for it? Me? My daughter? Who? And who has authority to call upon it? Anybody? Nobody?

I never attempted to heal my daughter of this disability… I think because I was so afraid it wouldn’t work. And not because Christ doesn’t heal, but because of a fear that my lack of a perfect faith would prevent it from happening. Talk about carrying around guilt. I’ve watched my daughter struggle her whole life feeling somewhat personally responsible that I didn’t have enough faith to heal her.

How wonderful that we can lay things like this at Jesus’ feet. He is in control. If my daughter is to be healed, I know that Jesus will put the information, the people, and the situation in place to make that happen. If she isn’t, I know that Jesus is personally involved in her life and her situation.