Possibly the biggest change in my religious life has been the very tiny little understanding of what humility really is… what it really means to humble myself at the feet of Jesus.
To understand this, you probably need to know what my understanding was up to this point. Mormonism teaches that we are saved by grace, after all we can do. In other words, we must perform as many and as good of works as we can during this life, and then Jesus will make up the difference between perfection and us, if we repent fully and completely.
So, at the very basis of Mormon thinking is that we, as humans, can accomplish things. They believe that we, through how we spend our time, the things we do, and the service we provide, can literally earn our way into a higher level of heaven.
Now… for my new view of humility. I believe that humans can accomplish nothing. Literally. If God were to withdraw his support of us this very second, we’d all drop dead to the earth. Instantly. Our minds would cease to function, our hearts would cease to beat, our lungs would cease to fill, and our cells would cease each of their individual functions. All that we do… cutting the grass, chewing our food, driving to work… is absolutely dependant upon His power and grace. We, literally, can do nothing without Him. He is our power. He is our heart, lungs, and brain.
You see, God has a plan for my life, and that is to work through me, not on me. He’s a loving God, and has great happiness in store for me as part of this plan, but my real reason for being here is to become the best instrument for Him that I can be. To throw off my own self and let him direct my life.
So why can’t I just do it? Why can’t I just reach the point of faith that he takes over and makes me instantly the person He wants me to be? I’ve asked Him to, and He won’t. There is something I have to contribute… my part of the system.
Let’s take the example of a muscle, and work on the assumption that all power within that muscle is given by God. I could lay around all day, doing nothing, and let my muscles atrophy. Then, if God needed me to use that muscle in His service, he could only fill it with the amount of strength I’ve limited it at. It would be weak and nearly useless. But, if I had been exercising it, growing it, and strengthening it, it would have a great deal more potential for energy. Then, when God needed it for something, He could put a lot more energy into me to accomplish His purposes.
All I truly have to give God is to try to keep my potential for serving Him at a high level. That way, when He fills me with His power to act, I have the resources available to Him.
Our brains work the same way. What if we find ourselves in a wonderful opportunity to teach someone the word of God? If we’ve never put the Word into our heads and studied it, then God has nothing to work with in us. We haven’t stored it away in our memory cells for Him to recall when He needs us to have it. The ability to recall it, or to perform any kind of act, is not ours. It is our God’s.
The very idea that we, of our own ability, can accomplish anything is a prideful idea. As soon as you feel you’ve accomplished something… anything… the temptation is there to look down on someone who hasn’t or isn’t accomplishing that thing and pride is born. Satan loves pride. It’s the number one tool in his toolbox. He even loves it when people accomplish very good, righteous things, and then think that they actually are a better person because of it.
We cannot be better people. The only way we can "improve" is to become less of ourselves and more of Him. And it’s pretty plain to see that, in reality, even that is not improving us at all. It is glorifying Him only.
I feel like I should mention, too, what I think some of His purposes are. When I begin to think religiously, I usually start thinking in terms of spreading the Word and growing His kingdom. I begin to think on a grand scale of miracles and conversions. That simply is not my calling in life. But does God want my lawn mowed? Does He want me to work for a living? Does He want me to fix a leaky faucet? These may not be overwhelmingly spiritual things, but God is Good. And I don’t mean that He’s generally nice and likes happy things. I mean He is the author of all Goodness. If it is Good, then it is of God. Mowing my lawn is good. Going to work is Good. Fixing a faucet is Good. He is no less there to support us in these trivial "goods" than He is in the life-changing "goods". All Good is from Him and supported by Him and, in fact, accomplished by Him. So, even in these trivial "Goods", I can claim no victory, no ability, no accomplishment. Even in these trivial "Goods" I can be letting my Father work through me and glorify Him.
Maybe none of this makes any sense to you. But it is all I strive for now. To become nothing, and let God fill me with everything.
Posted by lajblogger 
Posted by lajblogger 